I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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