I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
