I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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