is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
do herpes really smell.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
