I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
