is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
