At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
