her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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