LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize