Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize