Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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