8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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