You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he puts the penis in happiness.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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