Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize