you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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