Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize