Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"