Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.