Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
