Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
