I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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