I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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