No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
