I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
