dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
