You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
