Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize