Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
