I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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