Have you finally orgasmed yet?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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