I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
