Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
