She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
