Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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