My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
