its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
