Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
