Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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