If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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