she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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