Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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