oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
