Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize