before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
