I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
