it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
