Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
