she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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