We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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