And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
