Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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