So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
