I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
In America we eat man semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
