He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
