Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
