respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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