I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
