it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
