Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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