Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my liver is dry heaving
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
