he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
