Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
