For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
