actually, I'm a sock model
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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