I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize