i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
