when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
