just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
