I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
