physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
